PROMPT: Split Personality Road Trip (Unfinished but finally posted 9/21/06)

It was difficult to pick just a few aspects of me to give personalities to....

My road trip participants are Ostentatious Olivia (OO), Inexplorable Irma (II), Punctilious Polly (PP), and Skeptical Stacy (SS).

Friday, July 14, 2006: 0800 hours

PP: Okay, I have the map with our route all planeed out AND text directions. Ready to go?

SS: I really don't understand why we are driving. You guys must have something else planned...

OO: Okay! Stuff's all loaded up!!

II: My God, Olivia...why do you need FOUR bags?...Jesus, can we go already?

SS: See...I know something else is going on if SHE's itchin to get into the car for 25 hours.

PP: Olivia! You can't bring all that stuff. I've calculated how much weight we can carry and still get optimal gas mileage. You'll have to stay here if you want all your bags to make it on the trip. And Stacy...it's Twenty NINE hours with stops.

OO: You people have no concept of preparedness.

(Glance from Polly says cut the crap...)

OO: Fine. Hand me that pink one. I'll go put it up.

SS: What's in it?

OO: Shoes. And extra soap.

II: Olivia! Jesus! We're going to the BEACH! Hurry up. I just wanna get outta here already.

PP: I'm driving first. I can't stand the way the brakes feel after one of YOU drives.

SS: Shotgun! Let the glitter queen sit back there with the foot tapper.

Friday, July 14, 2006: 1100 hours, almost to Abilene

SS: Are we going the right way? Those directions say to do a "reality" check before using them...

PP: *raises left eyebrow* How long have you known me? C'mon. We're driving due west. We're going to California. Put two and two together.

II: Could you guys shut up and turn up the radio? I really like this song.

OO: Oh my GAWD! Really, Irma. MUST you sing the WHOLE way there?

II: I'm gonna pull that sleeping mask thru the back of your head and throw it out the window if you don't shut the hell up Olivia.

Hours later: Welcome to New Mexico sign

OO: OOOOOH! Let's stop and take a pic by the sign!

II: A pic? You mean PICTURE? It's a freakin border state. Woo hoo. What's the big deal? If we're gonna stop let's pick somewhere with a toilet.

SS: Hey! Roswell is in New Mexico. Is it on the way?

PP: Um, negative. It's about 130 out of our way south.

SS: How the hell do you know THAT? God you're weird.

PP: What??! I KNOW you, and I KNEW you'd ask! It's NOT on the way, but IF we want to drive sever hours out of the way and spend three hours looking at some alien museum, we can still get to San Diego by seven in the morning on Sunday, PLUS we'll have a place to sleep...I already booked a hotel in Roswell.

II: You REALLY need to be in therapy.

OO: *Pulls out her rhinestone-studded digital camera* Say CHEEEEESE everybody!

SS: That thing takes pictures?? It looks like a freakin foo-foo dog collar.

PP: I bought that for her...I think 4 megapixels is pretty darn good for $250 bucks!

SS: - pauses- Nevermind. I don't even want to know how long you spent finding that thing.

1930 hours: Santa Rosa, NM

PP: Pitstop! 3 1/2 hours to Roswell from here.

II: Thank GOD. I have GOT to get out of this car. Wonder if they have magazines inside?

SS: You brought 3 books!

II: Well, I should've brought 6. One is too slow and I finished the other two. Why do you care?

SS: *shrugs* I just don't know how you can read that fast and retain anything.

PP: Anyone want a soda from inside?

SS: I do, and see if they have any crossword puzzle books.

OO: Oh! See if they have any of those little spoon thingys - you know, for memory sake...

PROMPT: Split Personality Goin' On A Road Trip

The characters are EADIE, short for "everything's a good idea". Ewaq, short for "everything is worth a question", and C-mum, short for "can't make up mind." They are heading to the East Coast.


EADIE: Let's go.
Ewaq: Oh, well- who's driving?
C-mum: I could. Well, unless you want to. Or she wants to.
EADI: Here's an idea. Let's throw the car in neutral, and all three of us can give it a good push down this slight incline. Once it really get's rolling, we can take off after it, and who ever jumps behind the wheel can drive! AWESOME!
Ewaq: Um, is that safe?
EADI: Safe? Who cares! It's FUN!
C-mum: That might be fun, but... it might not be fun. And safe, I'm not sure it's safe either. Well, we could wear helmets. That's a little safer. Maybe.
EADI: Yeah, well, while you two are out here discussing the fine art of decision making, I'll be shifting gears.
Ewaq asks C-mum: Do you want to ride up front, or in the back?
C-mum: I like the front just fine, and I don't mind the back.
EADI: OH MAN! I just had the best idea ever! We can strap one of you to the roof, and then you'll be in the front and back at the same time. Good thing I'm here. Problem solving- I've got mad skills.

Everyone jumps into the car, with Eadi driving, Ewaq in the passenger seat, and C-mum in back, because C-mum is indecisive and could never help with directions.

Ewaq: Have you mapped out directions?
EADIE: Um, no! We don't need directions.
C-mum: Oh, maybe we do need directions. We might get lost. I mean, if you're comfortable without directions, then I'll go along with that, but... if we need them, I think we should get them. Your call.
EADIE: We'll be fine. Trust me. It's a vibe thing.
Ewaq: But if we don't have directions, then how will we know where we're going?
EADIE: It's not about the destination, man. It's about the journey! I'm so stoked!

And off they go, EADIE without direction, but enthusiasm, Ewaq without answers, and C-mum unable to decide who is right and who is wrong.

Later, somewhere in North Dakota.

Ewaq: Still trust those vibes?
EADIE: Are you crazy? This was the best idea in the history of the universe of the United States of America!
Ewaq: How's that?
EADIE: You seriously have no sense of adventure.
Ewaq: Maybe. Do you think Christopher Columbus started out this way? Without a plan I mean? Didn't he aim for another location, and just happen on to the Americas?
EADIE: Yeah, that's real interesting to ponder and all, but I'm hungry.
Ewaq: Where should we eat?
C-mum: Italian sounds good. No, mexican! Actually, a burger suits me fine. You know, I'm not sure I'm actually hungry.

EADIE and Ewaq eat while watching C-mum try to decide where to take the first bite.

Back on the road:

Ewaq: Does that semi appear to be weaving?
C-mum: I think he is weaving! We shoud pull over. No, we should speed up. No, we should just go at normal speed and hope he realizes he's all over the road. Oh, I really don't know what we should do.
EADIE: WEll, I do! We should so play chicken with him. I bet we'd win.
Ewaq: Where is the highway patrol when you need them?
C-mum: Probably eating donuts. Or chasing skirts. Or...
EADIE: OH YEAH! He's speeding up! That crazy dude is speeding up! Oh, it's on. This will be fantastic. Whatch 'im choke!
C-mum: We're going to die! We're going to die! Well, maybe not die- but... at least be maimed. Or traumatized. Or something.
Ewaq: EADIE, have you always been this stupid?
C-mum: YOU IDIOT!



And all three are splattered across the highway of life. Eadie finally chose direction... right into the grill of a semi, and it killed her. Ewaq lost at life with no answers. But, our friend, C-mum... well, C-mum finally landed on a idea and ran with it. She proclaimed confidently that EADIE was an idiot, and she was right.

The end.

:D

PROMPT: Write about something you DEEPLY dislike. - There Is This One Guy...

There are several things I could write about. Some more serious than others. Some reveal the depth of my soul, and some reveal the depth of my pettiness. I'm going with petty.

I'm not a fan of the news in general, but there is one news anchor here in the valley, that within moments of him arriving on screen, forces me to change the channel. I'm not sure what it is about him, but it might be his sideburns. News Flash: Elvis is Dead! Another News Flash: Even if Elvis Were Not Dead- The Sideburns Don't Help!



I want to rip them off his head. And I'm sure he wouldn't mind, because it appears he's probably had a million plastic surgeries anyway, so what's one more? And this one would even help the situation. I'm just saying... Now, let's not confuse issues here. My problem is not with sideburns in general. Some guys can sport sideburns, I guess. My problem is with this particular guy wearing sideburns. It's hard to concentrate on what he's saying. In fact, I think sometimes his sideburns are moving. Who can pay attention to the war in Iraq, when moving side burns are threatening to overtake Phoenix. See? It's a problem.

PROMPT: Write about something you DEEPLY dislike. (#2)

I like quotes. They are a direct inlet to someone's mind. What I like most about quotes is that they inspire me, not only to do things, but to think about things. Two of my favorite quotes are about something I deeply dislike...


"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." -Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." -Thomas Jefferson

Fear. Nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror. I won't make this a religious rant, but I suspect that there are people in this world who have this kind of fear of God. or of a god.

Fear does paralyze. It holds us hostage. No matter if a fear is justified by experience or unjustified in an insane mind, fear is stifling. I hate fear.

A common fear is the fear of change, which boils down to the fear of "I don't know." We are not unjustified in being afraid of the unknown. Our imaginations run wild when we are unfamiliar with things.

"What's going to happen?"
"I don't know."
"Are you scared?"
"Yeah, kinda."
"Why?"

The answer to that can be one of two things: "I don't know," or a slew of imagined consequences or happenings that are either possible, probable, or likely to occur (based on experience and imagination). I personally like "I don't know" best.

I hate that people find themselves stuck in life situations because of fear. Fear of God. Fear of rejection. Fear of lonliness. Fear of poverty. Fear of anything that could happen. People would rather live in abject melancholy than to live in fear. I don't understand that.

I'm a big fan of logical fallacy. My favorite to use, most likely because I've got a very sarcastic personality, is the slippery slope. You might call it falling off the deep end. I apply this logical fallacy when faced with fear. My slippery slope question is, "Is anyone going to die because of this?" Not that I fear death, but I certainly want to know if I am going to be the cause of someone else's demise...I mean, it might make a difference in my decision knowing that someone might die because of it. Then again, I guess it would depend on who the death clock was ticking for...

The other logical fallacy that I'm NOT so fond of is the ad Baculum argument; that which appeals to human timidity and fear...a threat, if you will. I believe this argument style is used often in government and religion. It can be used either in slight or blatently. It is the position that argues a grave and scary consequence which has nothing to do with the action one is trying to pursuade. Not all threats are ad Baculum. Some threats are very real, like if you don't go down into the cellar during a tornado, you will be injured or possibly spun away to Oz. I mean, that makes logical sense, right? Argumentum ad Baculum would be something like "eat your vegetables or your dog will die." I guess that could be a direct threat on the dog's life, but most likely it's just a means of getting children to eat their veggies.

Most likely, it's a grave error in parenting. Why raise your children to fear? Fear stifles. I've said that already, but it's true. I have written before that my children are probably more "scared" of me than of anything else, but it's not fear based on ridiculous threats. Follow-through is important in parenting. "Eat your vegetables or I'm gonna whoop your butt" should be followed by a butt-whoopin' when the veggies are still on the plate at the end of a meal. (I rarely whoop anyone's butt, and certainly not for something trivial like veggies.) If you know the consequences..the FACTUAL consequences of action or inaction in any situation, give them. "If you don't pick these toys up, I'm gonna step on one and be very upset about it." Okay...they don't want you to be upset, so they pick up the toys. Or they don't, and they see you upset, and hopefully remember next time. Right?

How many lies are told every day to engender fear?
How many lies are told every day because one is fearful?

PROMPT: Write about something you DEEPLY dislike.

There aren't many things that I DEEPLY dislike. Well, except bad drivers, people who make more money than they should, ice cream, yellow beer, self loathing, fishing for compliments, beets, over-commercialized religion, Sheryl Crow, and humanity in general.

Seriously, though...if I had to pick one thing I deeply dislike, it would have to be plain old stupidity. When I say stupidity, I mean the kind that is ignorance. Blatent ignorance. The kind of stupid ignorance that is evolved from the thought that one is perhaps too good to even be thinking about certain things; that other things and people are below one's self.

I dislike the ignorant asses who speak out of turn. I despise the air of royalty they carry. I cannot stand their self-important turned up noses. It's a farce. It's just how they have to cover up their ignorance. I don't so much mind an ignorant ass who knows he is such; it's the oblivious idiots that get me; those who think they are actually informed and intelligent.

Call me an intellectual snob. Okay. Fine. I don't think I am the smartest cracker on the planet, but at least I can admit that. On the flip side, I have a hunger for knowledge. Does someone else know it? Maybe...but I want to know it too, and improve the idea. Can someone else do it? Most likely, but I want to do it better. I find it difficult to rely on others. For anything. I want to know how to do and say and be everything for myself. I strive not to be ignorant. I don't want to have people look at me in conversation the same way I've looked at them....the "what the fuck are you talking about" look.

Sometimes, when you strive NOT to be something, you find yourself surrounded by it. I'm on the fence about God and Satan, but I will say that if there IS a devil, his name is Generic Ignorant Ass. He is one of the fine folks I deal with on a daily basis who make me roll my eyes and have loud F-bomb outbursts within the confines of my cubicle walls. He is the dipshit who thinks there is a magic fairy that takes care of all the shit he forgets about. He can't subtract 35 from 49 in his head. When asked to recite the alphabet backwards, he actually tries. He challenges me to an online IQ test and thinks I faked my score when I beat him.

He can't count out exact change, nor can he figure out what my change should be in the drive-thru. And if he can, and has it ready for me like I'm going to pay with a flat dollar amount, he gets pissy when I hand him exact change (I love doing that).

He says no when I offer to explain something, because he knows I'll do it next time for him, too.
He asks the same stupid questions over and over, and they usually start with, "Stacy, I know you'll know the answer to this..."

He doesn't get my humor. Even when I've got my fingers crossed that he'll realize I'm making fun of him to his face. His best argument is "well, I've been around a lot longer than you have."

He is a lot of things. Or she. Whoever. Ignorant asses: my Kryptonite.

PROMPT: Acknowledge that writing is hard. Hard Writing: Another Direction

I think to explain why writing is hard, you first have to decide what writing is to you. Someone might feel it's coming up with a subject, tying elements together, overthinking, underthinking- you know, stuff. To me, that part of it is story telling. So, I don't think of it as writing so much. Or maybe I do, but I don't for the distinct purpose of addressing this prompt.

For me though, writing is hard because of the structure of sentences. (And spelling, but I'm concentrating on sentences.)

I want to write like I talk. I want to put commas, where I pause in thought while speaking. Not where they belong to show a break in direction, or whatever comma's are literally used for. I should look that up.

When I say I "want", what I really mean is, it feels natural to me. I don't think twice about it because it just fits. Why shouldn't we write just like we talk? Broken sentences. Beginning sentences with and.

That's why writing is hard for me. I can see the proper sentence structure, and it looks broken. But break it, and it looks just fine.

(I realise this goes against the very idea of the prompt. But, for honesty purposes, it is the only way I could answer. It truly is WHY writing is hard for me. As for balance- well, the goal is to get the creativity to meet with the technicality. And at this moment, I have no idea how to bring that forth. So- my balance will come with time. Easy answer? Yeah. But the most accurate.)

PROMPT: Acknowledge that writing is hard.

Write it down. Then write about how you're going to make writing happen. How will you find the balance in yourself to combine willpower with relaxation, stubbornness with joy? Write about how you've struck this balance in the past, with writing, a sport, a musical instrument - anything you've done.

Okay. Writing is hard. I admit that. It's especially hard when you've got the attention span of a rodent most of the time. I can pay attention when there's movement, ie. a poker game, a television show, even a boardgame. In writing, there's no actual movement, especially when you get stuck and the pen won't even move.

As for finding the balance...I'm just naturally balanced. I plan to try to write or be in the physical position of writing at least once a night. Especially once I decide to do the 1-month novel. When I've got a deadline, I work better. I might have to give up a few poker games here and there. I might have to buy some ink refills...whatever...it's all for the good of the project. When I get into something, there's not much that can get me out...EXCEPT something else that I want to get into. I've always been into writing...I've just recently decided to make it a serious pursuit; important enough to make it into the line items of the day planner. Maybe this year I'll keep the same day planner and actually use it. Who knows?